Running With Irony

Last week, I briefly mentioned a swap of clutchbacks in a thrift - theft, in fact, albeit what most people would consider "minor" (and I justified as) because both pair of "crap" earrings were $4 (so it wasn't as if I changed out an expensive thing for a cheaper thing).  I have a conscience (with feathers) that doesn't just tweak me on things like this but practically shoots an air horn in my ear:  hence, the penance of donating jewelry (one crime to "fix" another).  Thanks to this, however, I forgave myself for my very unusual slip of ethics.

But Mama Angel is the gift that keeps on giving, and hyperfocused, too!  Last week was about helping me toward an unreal streak of great deals (that coin, if you didn't look, is 1/10 oz of pure gold) but this week was about digging in the knife, just one more time.  It wasn't the yank toward getting my practically-Hoarders living room cleared out on Saturday (instead of yard sales), nor was it the reminder that I hadn't paid bills or balanced the checkbook in two weeks (all of which kept me from The Hunt); no, it was a little revelation at the original site of my heinous act.

I stopped back at that thrift Saturday (between errands) to check on my donated jewelry (mostly sold!) and to see if anything new had been set out.  Nothing caught my eye except, of course, the "crap" earrings I'd put back, those of the formerly guilty conscience, the pair I didn't buy.

 They looked less ... plastic this time, and shinier.  So I removed the craptastic backings I'd traded out and looked more closely at what I'd passed on.  And ... can you see it?  The streaks?  The color?  The plaque at the top of the left earring - the one that says "585"?  Yeah, it's like that.

So, to summarize: I hammered myself with guilt, paid for a shabby steel pair of earrings (which I gave away) and two gold clutchbacks (which I kept) ... then forked out more for the ivory and 14K pair I'd passed on (which now have the swapped-out clutchbacks) after donating gold and silver pieces.  Mama Angel, at her knifey best, went out of her way to show me the irony of it all ... and, of course, to get in that one, final word.

Fair enough.  They look fabulous on me, after all.

A Really Good Week ... Or Two

I started writing this on Tuesday, but I had to wait and see how the whole week played out.  Hint - today was the first day I didn't find a great piece.

It hasn't been all good since my last allowance - I've had some bug since I returned from Indy, and between the gut bombs and the headache, I've been pretty miserable, especially since I've worked the whole time, too.  Last week, of course, the amethyst and white gold necklace was the most gorgeous (and keeper) moment.

I'm telling you, look at everything - this was in the silver tray, and priced that way.  It wasn't the only thing (a gorgeous 10K ring at a different consignment store - good deal not great - and two pair 14K earrings at a thrift that were a steal) but it was the start of it all.

Speaking of silver.

The butterfly I found today, in a consignment store, for just a couple of dollars. The rest were all week - that fat bracelet, especially, was $5 at a yard sale (well over an ounce) and the single hoop earring above the star bracelet was one I found in a parking lot (I knew there was jewelry at that center that day, but I thought it would be in my normal haunt, not behind my left passenger tire).  The circle pendant is studded with diamonds (and so a faboo bargain).  FYI - not everything I've found is there.  I gave a gorgeous pin (with onyx) and some others away already, for penance, after I swapped a gold clutchback from one pair of crap earrings to another at a thrift store (so the crap pair I bought would have two good backs instead of just one).  Sterling, great costume, and a really nice gold ring and necklace went to my favorite charity shop, and I don't regret it for a moment.

The vacuum filled.  And nicely.

Gotta tell it from the start, or at least from Saturday.  I'd planned to drive the 80 miles to a flea market I haven't even been to all year - I usually hit craigslist and check "jewelry," just like everyone else, and I wanted a change from the usual "sorry, someone was here at the crack of dawn" and the picked-through baskets.  Morning came but I could almost hear Mama Angel telling me to stay local and just follow my nose, so I did.  And everywhere - everywhere - my nose blew me (shut up) I found something amazing.  A tangled chain and link bracelet and sterling bangle here, a pair of wedding bands there, that chunky silver bracelet along with a hideous 80's ring (with what I thought was a spurious mark) in one place, and 18K clutchbacks (on steel earrings!) in another.  It was so bizzarre and amazing I almost didn't explode on Sunday when I went to teach back-to-back classes with no a/c, no elevator (5th floor), painters and tilers blocking everything ... yeah, I honestly thought it was a gift so I would only frighten the building manager with cold, angry Bunny, not kill him with raging, "she'll rip yer throat out!" Bunny.

And though it saved at least two lives, the trend continued!  I kept letting the wind take me and ...

The coin pendant I thought was "clad" silver (just a couple of bucks) ... isn't silver.

Seriously, how could I think it was a dime?  Because it had a generic "guarantee" from a mint, and I'd seen a similar pendant in a different shop for about $20 more than I paid for this one.  I snapped it up because it was cool.  I kept it because it's 1/10 oz of pure gold, and wearable!


The earrings in the far back of the big picture, the blue stones that look like iolite, are in a pair that was marked "gold?" with a smushed mark I thought looked like part of 925 except the "5" was more an "L" ... until I turned it upside-down saw it could be a 7 ... and the curves of a 5 and 0.  Yep!  It was!  And sapphires and diamonds!

The other puppy was a gamble, too, even though the 14K is clear on both parts - the pendant is big, as you can see, but that chain is heavy and Cheetos orange (but not marked "Italy"), a darker shade than the pendant.  It wasn't within my comfort zone for speculation (I draw the line at $30 these days).  But I'd trusted the nosy, feathered one this far, I might as well go all the way.

When I got it home I decided to do electronic test instead of scratch, because the chain was big enough not to get severed by the pulse.  "755" and above is 14K on my machine.  It read "003."  I'd weighed the pendant already and it not only tested right, it's worth enough to my gamble if I choose to sell it (as long as gold stayed relatively high) so - oh, well, live and learn.

I started to put it in into my "to be donated" bag ... and then I remembered that some gold was coated.  I used my pink eraser on the links, and tried again.  814.  My eyes bugged out (it's one very heavy chain), so I tried another unerased part (3 again) and another erased part (805).  Then I started dancing.

Overall, although I spent about two and a half allowances (which I had, thanks to the bug), I now own some of the more beautiful pieces I've ever seen, and at a fraction of what they're worth.  Best deals were those heavy shell earrings and that coin pendant.  Favorites are the amethyst necklace and the sapphire earrings.  Best motivator to teach everyone about what's fake and what's gold is that chain.

Things that make me smile, however, aren't in any pictures:  the stuff that's already made it into my trash can or the gallon-sized "donation" Ziploc, the stuff that cost me about a third of what I spent overall.  It's all a treasure of a different kind because it will give twice - once when I pay the charity shops and yard sale people for the chance at a great piece, and again when I cull out the dreck and give back the nicer bits to sell again.  Plus, though it shows I'm not always right, I'm right more often than I'm wrong, and that's amazing to me.  And unlike those dry, bloodless stocks and bonds, this is something I can actually wear.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

Can you?

Economic Whoas

I've been teaching and cleaning more than hunting lately, so other than one great piece (white gold in the silver tray again) I have few stories to tell yet.  The economy has me mesmerized, the politicians disgusted, and the spirit (of most of the people I see) sad - they're not crazed or fearful but ... shell-shocked.  And yet, I see a determination I don't think I've ever seen before.

Funny that we're all prepared to buckle down and fix this, and without the finger-pointing, excuse-making, and bitch-slapping our elected officials are doing.  We are ready to roll.

Wouldn't it be nice if our our respresentatives would represent that?

Speaking of Thrift Shops

To the lady next to me earlier today, the one who said, to the clerk, "One hundred and fifty dollars is too high for this piece.  It's plated, see?  Fourteen-kay here but five-eight-five on the tag.  It's gold plated sterling."

I love you.  When you have your yard sale, give me a call because I really, really want to buy your stuff.

Seriously.

To the Honorable ... Whoever

Over the weekend, gold went nuts on eBay - bullion and coin sales were in the high 1600's and low 1700's per ounce.  I thought things would level out once it looked as if the debt ceiling was rising, and since it's already passed the house ... but, no, not only is gold still rising as I write this, all the index futures are tanking.  Yes, Europe is in trouble, and yes our GDP (etc.) numbers aren't all that.  But it really looks as if no one around here is really certain that all the "Honorables" in government can actually pull it off.

I'm one of them.  So far all I've seen is 537 people who are thinking of the next election rather than the fact that our economic boat is filling with water and they're arguing about whether we should scoop or suck.  I've seen much (too much) grandstanding, pontificating, and bluster; tons of set jaws, narrowed eyes, and finger-pointing; mountains of threats, promises, and in-fighting; but action?  Not so much.  And I think I might know why:  how many of our elected officials has ever had to (personally) dig him-or-herself out of debt?

I'm not talking about doing without lattes in order to pay the education loans they incurred for law school or foregoing a new car to pay down the mortgage on the vacation house on the beach.  I'm talking about being in a hole so deep you can't see up, that you're so far underwater you have to use one card to pay another, that you search couch cushions for change to buy milk for the kids and babysit to get your car payment.  I'm talking cold sweats every night for months (or years) and wondering if your life insurance would come soon enough to help the rest of the family to survive.

Well, guess what?  I've been there.  I got out.  And I have the scars to prove it.  And as someone who's had some actual practical experience, I have some advice for our lawmakers.

1)  Stop treating government as if it's a business.  It is not a business.  Business gets to do something with profits (actually generates them) and is, or should be, responsible for its own debt.  (And, by the way, outsourcing isn't "cutting the size of government."  Admit it's stupid - on so many levels - and get back to civil service, for all of you.)

2)  Lending money with no requirement of repayment is only for people related to you by blood, and then only if you have it to lose.  I will respond in kind, if necessary (starving = feed them, evicted = a place to stay ... for days, not weeks) but I will not hand cash to a money drunk.  Not any more.  I owe them nothing that will enable bad behavior.  (And borrowing that way is illegal for real people - it's called "fraud.")

3)  There is no such thing as "good" debt, only "acceptable" debt, and you cannot grow consistently by borrowing to gamble on, well, anything else.  If I must borrow, I have an asset to back it up (like a car), and I still pay it off as fast as I can.

4)  I had to cut expenses, sell some assets, and work more hours to get us out of the hole.  That meant I cut my own allowance and I raised more money in addition to trimming the household expenses that weren't constants.  Everything was on the table when it came to both cuts and revenue.  Everything.  No exceptions.

5)  I had to put my name on our debt.  My name.  If you had to put your names on all of those ancillary (and bullshit) Pork Barrel riders that attach to every single bill that goes through your houses (including the one that authorized emergency funds to pay our troops!), I'll bet the budget would cut itself by 20% in its first year.  (And if it doesn't, then shame on all of you.)

6)  I don't start a project unless I know I can pay for it.  In other words, I not only "balance" my budget, I don't even base that budget on what I don't have.  Not only that, but when I earn less I IMMEDIATELY cut things (to make my emergency fund last longer, if necessary).  And I plan ahead for vacations and renovations, save even for things that might be expenses in the future (like for an air conditioning system that's now nearly 20 years old).

7) The biggest help for me was to change my attitude toward the money:  you are not in charge of our finances, you are responsible for it.  We succeed or fail based on what you decide - all of us, including your own families - and you will be remembered for your actions (or lack of them).  And though we (people) seem to not care sometimes, we really do, especially when you cut into our lives.  I hate to say this, ladies and gentlemen, but the worst thing we can do to you is NOT to vote you out. Your current actions (or lack of them) are stirring even us moderates out of our (possibly) apathetic, (seemingly) sheep-like fog.  Do you really want to see what happens when your "flock" turns on you and your parties? (Hint - anyone seen a Whig lately ...)

By the way, I'm not saying government is a household any more than it's a business but it's closer to the latter and you know it.  And that means you don't need economists to fix this problem but people who've actually crawled out of the muck.  See, we who have stared down this particular abyss (and lived to tell the tale) know that what you really need in order to survive (and thrive) is not theory, not storm and fury, and not great sound bytes - you need common sense, calm resolve, constant vigilance ... oh, and a really, really good thrift store.

Okay, maybe that last one was just my secret weapon.