Money, Money Everywhere - Part Three

A solid, strong figure. A leather sectional sofa. An aptitude for math and puzzles. A tendency to over-indulge and keep it under the skin. A Hummel figurine from the '30's. A reproduction Empire-era four-poster bedroom suite. Short legs and big feet. Costume jewelry from the Jazz Age and WWII. A taste for spicy food. A piano and a dining room that stores everything and seats sixteen. A lack of ticklish.

I've inherited so much in my (nearly) half-century on this planet. However, though all of the genetics are from my ancestors, little of the stuff is. Mostly, those items have come from friends and acquaintances who move (and to whom I promise to pass the windfall along rather than sell it), or friends who change their minds and/or decor. Around here, we believe that the circle of life includes Basset, Ikea, and American Standard.

Inheritance seems like the easiest of the five ways to get money - all you have to do is sit back and wait for it to come to you, right? But it's much more complicated than that in reality. Inheritance, in fact, takes a lot of work. You must cultivate relationships, after all, and that's hard - harder still when there’s stuff involved. Money and things can cause the most horrific rifts between siblings, steps, exes, and buddies, and produce sorrow, anger, or guilt in the recipient. If we inherit not at the passing of a loved one but through the generosity of a friend, we might even find our inner cynical-suspicion guy, excessive-obligation woman, and can-everyone-else-really-see-how-broke-I-am gal. Traditionally, in fact, inheritance can be the Spartan 300 of emotional workouts. But only when you’re doing it wrong.

I let that all go years ago, and not just because my family has little to leave. When our daughter was born, the Big Lug and I were still in college. We had one income, which was part-time and small. I almost died due to complications, and it was over a hundred degrees every day for two months afterward. My pride wasn't worth my health, or the nakedness of my child, so I accepted a small air conditioner from a parent, a hefty credit to our heftier hospital bill (no insurance), a 30-gallon bag full of clothing from a neighbor (who, by the way, had less than we did), money from a public grant, and help with both house- and baby-work from a friend. Although I've had my stiff and obstinate moments, I remember what I owe for those early kindnesses.

Now, before I’m nominated for sainthood, I must confess that I was more Gordon Gecko than Mother Theresa at the time, that it’s still touch and go even now. We are born selfish and we default to that position every chance we get, especially when role models were lacking. Back then, I took it as my due, or at least I didn’t let it trouble my sleep. It was only later, when I got my head out of my ass, that I remembered those amazing acts of generosity and grace.

They shaped who I wanted to be, the inheritance I wanted to leave. Every day, I try to repay … not the people, because I could never do enough for those who saved my life, my finances, and my sanity, but repay the source itself. Whether you believe it's Karmic cycle, the Deeper Well, God's blessings, the Universe, or the great quantum pool, that's what you must focus on, and always be willing to part with as much (or more) as you receive - because this particular wheel does not turn by expectation or getting. It turns by giving, wherever and whenever you can, and doing so unconditionally.

And when you know this fact deep down, and truly put it to use, your life - whether you give or you get - will always be just one surprise away from a miracle.

Now that's fun!