Obsession

Exercise is important. It strengthens our muscles, builds bone mass, helps our hearts, and even makes our bodies produce shots of feel-good chemicals. Not exercising is bad. Too much is worse, at least according to many experts. Finding a balance between couch potato and shin splints is the key.

The same holds true with money. For me, however, it's not about finding balance between the spending and saving - it's fighting for the middle ground between apathy and obsession. I get excited about things, and I'm easily distracted. These are not two things that should go together in anything that's not a poodle.

I have - obviously - become obsessed with jewelry (yes, both because I wear it and because it can be a good, long-term thing here). It started as a profit-based enterprise, aimed at selling on eBay. It became a fascination, which wasn't a problem as long as I confined my searches to yard sales and limited my budget to my allowance. It's gotten a bit out of control - and not just because it's so sparkly and looks darned good on me. The minute my work hours went nuclear, my focus began to wobble - not from the "acquisition of" said items, but from the "limiting to" said dollar amounts. In the last two weeks, I've spent three or four times the money I usually spend during a weekend for my hunts. Thrift shops and consignment stores are not yard sales, let's put it that way - not all are that one, amazing Goodwill. Yes, I found some great pieces, one that's even amazing, but overall I paid much more than I should have simply because I bought in the heat of obsession.

Poodle, not Bunny.

And not Diva, either, that's what's killing me. She wasn't the one who paid far too much for the ugly multi-metal pendant just because the stone looked intriguing (it is, I believe, dyed jasper, as common as sand - why I thought a better stone would be in such a cheap setting is beyond me). Diva also wasn't the one who decided to spend $12 on a necklace that looked like amber - believe me, even framed in a sterling mount, a plastic bead full of dead mosquito bits isn't worth that much. And, of course, she wasn't the one who bought two sets of costume jewelry (necklace and earrings) that were not only unmarked but hardly hypo-allergenic ... all because the woman selling them was a former teacher. (I didn't even try to wheel and deal!)

I could almost hear my inner Poodle - "Hi, hi, hi! I want this, and I don't care how much it is -wait, did you see that? It looked like a bird and - hello, master, were you gone? - oo, I smell bacon ... what was I doing again?"

Yes, things have been happening that aren't just my job (water heater springs to mind), but I've taken my eye off the prize. I haven't entered a contest in nearly two weeks. I didn't check my work email for five days - and I think I lost a tutorial because of it. I haven't tackled and finished a home improvement project in a month. And I need to vacuum soon or my terrier's shedded hair will find the primordial sludge in the bathroom sink and form a new species.

Balance.

I thought I understood it. I thought I'd found it - and I had, really. But balance, like exercise, isn't something you can find and forget, or take for granted - it's got to be constantly monitored, continuously tweaked. Prioritizing, sticking to vows and schedules, and organizing - these are not my strong suits. But passion is. My passion for this quest, for my husband's happiness, and for the outcome (not the moment) - these are my obsessions.

Jewelry's just the fun part - especially when it's 90% off retail.