Cocooning

It's coming, I can feel it - change is in the air.

With the ACT last weekend, my schedule is opening up. I have enough business (and savings, if necessary) to pay the bills, especially since there's not as much bespoken each month as there used to be. I am meeting my own personal deadlines here on this page, as well as hitting other benchmarks - I reached my weight goal on Tuesday after eighteen months of work, and I'm well into the yard sale/thrift shop weekly groove. I've even (finally) attended my first mineral club meeting (fluorescent minerals, very cool!), tried my first belly dancing DVD (muscles I didn't even know I still hurt), and am nearly finished clearing our finances up.

It's time to add something new to the mix. But what?

My strongest option is to put a book proposal together. I've been kicking a fantasy series around for nearly twenty-five years. Whether I choose the longer, edgier, adult version or the more streamlined, cleaner, young adult version, I could write three chapters of the first book and the "bible" for the series. It would mean spending a few months shopping it around while I finish the novel, and - possibly - failing to sell it or even to get a nibble. That kind of "wasted" effort strangled my enthusiasm for writing before - I'm a double-duty, impatient Bunny - but maybe I'm ready to give it another shot (just not in the foot).

My second strongest is to go after a "regular" job. This economic climate, combined with my quest, has made me yearn for a source of benefits for myself. An employer-matched 401K would be nice, as would subsidized life insurance. Sick leave. Vacation pay. Even medical insurance at some point. Like many people, I have none of these in my job, but the Big Lug has always made sure we had them so I've never really felt the pinch. If he retires earlier than scheduled, however, we will either lose or pay more for most of that which I take for granted ... unless I bring them home. A quick survey of solid jobs tells me that I have options. Not high-paying (at first) options, but things that will quickly pan out to a more acceptable level.

Whatever I decide, nothing major will shift until after the first of the year, maybe as late as Spring - proposal-and-or-resume writing takes time. With the holidays just around the corner (and Left Field coming in with his partner) I can only do the best I can do, which probably means to take a single step somewhere, see what feels like True North and what is just a Deep Ditch, then go on from there. So far, I've been pulling myself together - streamlining life and money, dabbling at various fantasy jobs to get out of the box a little - but this is putting myself out there for real. It's a much scarier proposition, but it's one that's been coming on for years - a wildly colorful, Bunny-tatooed butterfly waiting to break out.

Let's see how she does this winter.