Fixation

Black Friday deserved its name this year, for all the wrong reasons - a man was trampled to death by a rapacious crowd inside a Long Island Walmart. When employees asked shoppers to clear the store because of the tragedy, the bargain-hunters ignored the request and kept filling their carts, many protesting that they'd been standing in line since Thursday morning.

"What is wrong with those people?" we asked in horror.

I don't know. I honestly cannot imagine what was going through everyone's mind - not just the people who shoved into the store with so much force they bent the steel doorjam with the weight of their assault, but those who refused to leave afterward. I cannot conceive what would drive someone to disregard so much of what is right and wrong.

Many newscasters spoke of desperation. Others of greed. Still others commented that we deserve the ills we are facing if we are this corrupt of ethics and morals.

Yes, yes, the usual, mostly unhelpful, crap - report, speculate, and judge. My question is, how do we combat it?

Fear drives us to do terrible things, and right now is a terrifying time for many, especially when money is concerned. But I think fear is only part of the equation. We are all afraid at one time or another, but most of us don't act on it (as a rule). Once the alarm is raised elsewhere, anywhere, though, it's tougher to resist - panic is contagious, and it doesn't have to be the same fear to infect everything around it. Fear does not choose specifics; it is generic and blind, a trigger that moves us into action or inaction.

Saying "have courage," or "resist it," is all well and good, even works much of the time, but ... I don't know about you, but I have to find the monster in the closet first, or I can't fight it.

Several thousand years ago, some very wise men gave us both labels and tools for specific fear-beasts - the Seven Deadly Sins. These are (in no particular order) envy, greed, lust, rage, pride, gluttony, and sloth. All are offspring of anxiety and nightmares. And all can be successfully fought.

The one newscaster had the right idea - greed seems the obvious culprit, after all, since shopping and money go together. But three of those seven - greed, lust, and gluttony - are practically interchageable in the dictionary. Yet they are not the same (the sages listed them separately, right?). Indeed, there are subtle but important differences, found in the antonyms: the opposite of greed is generosity, the the opposite of gluttony is moderation, and opposite of lust is indifference or renouncing. These people had trouble walking away, not because they were focused on overdoing but because their one-track minds wouldn't let anything else in. This points to lust.

No, lust is not just about sex. Lust is an intense craving, one so strong you know you'll never be happy until you get the object of your desire. A person, a drink, a laptop, even a life-circumstance can all be the center of this obsession. Lust is what happens when "want" or even "need" gets ramped up by fear. I experienced it last week to a slight degree, when my need for a perfect Thanksgiving resulted in forgetting this blog (and even some of my family). In Long Island, it translated to "I want an iPod for Johnny, but I don't have enough money to buy one except today, and if I don't get it I am -" fill in the rest (a horrible mother/father, broke and everyone will know it, enjoying this last holiday no matter the consequences). Desperation drove the train straight over an innocent human being and caused a temporary (I hope) block of all sympathy and empathy.

What's the cure for lust? Abdication, leaving completely, a 180-degree turn. I did this a few months ago, when my lust for jewelry became overwhelming - I fasted until I lost the compulsion, until I was buying for the right reasons. Yes, greed played a part (more on this later), as did gluttony (ditto), but my mind and emotions were completely focused. I woke up with it on my mind, I ate with it - I was buying anything that sparkled or shined because I wanted it, because it was the secret to beauty (with this new body), because would never be happy until I possessed adornment to match every mood and outfit. Oh, I used this quest as an excuse, but collectibles, even jewelry, are (at best) tricky investments. I know that now and I knew that then, but I was hooked. It was a drug. An addiction. And that's lust.

Money is tight everywhere. Around here, we've made a pact not to buy for anyone over the age of ten. The Big Lug and I will bend that a bit, of course, but it won't be nearly amount we spend every other year. For one thing, I have already shifted much of it to other places. For another, giving a gift frequently makes people feel beholden to return it in similar fashion - and most people can't afford to do so, though they will try. So, around here, I'll be baking cookies, making fudge, recycling nice pieces from thrift shops, maybe even leaving things anonymously (hide a $20 bill in a coat pocket while someone is visiting!). And I will continue to confront (and beat back) my own fears.

I've already gone too many rounds with the Seven Deadlies not to.