The Power of the "P"

I'm a planner. In fact, I'm so good at planning, so good at dreaming up enough details and nuances to make you weep with the vision of it, that I can plan myself right out of an action in almost no time at all. I've already planned myself into our home, the most beautiful home you've ever seen ... as long as it stays in my head.

Yep, several bestselling novels, three screenplays, four or five songs, an entire clothing line, two syndicated cartoons, blueprints for both saline-water separators and time machines, and the solutions to at least two of the Millenium Problems, all float around in my mind, all the time - and all thought out to the nth degree and therefore (to my silly little psyche) already reality.

That, in a nutshell ... uh, in essence ... is the problem.

It wasn't always like this. Once upon a time, I actually wrote for the fun of it - my first drafts were so drafty I had to quadruple the page count to get even close to where I should be. Once upon a time, I even painted what I wanted, when I wanted, and no thought to more than "wouldn't that be lovely." Once upon a time, I could look at a math problem and just know I could do it ... and then did. No chewing it for so long the flavor's gone. No urges to haul out the mental microscope to see all the inclusions. Nope. Brief outline, a vague sense of a direction, a foggy glimpse of the end product then ... begin!

It was a blast. It was a real quest. And I want it back. I need it back.

But how? How do I make that particular p-word (plan) a swear word? Could I just eliminate it from my vocabulary? Replace it? Maybe if I put up Post-It notes in the bathroom, cover my world with "believe" and "trust" and ... wait, am I doing it again? Isn't that a plan?

Stop! No more plans! Plans aren't fun, they're constricting and boring! I have to make life my coloring book again! Sketches without a finished product! Take a line for a walk and see where it leads me! A sense of destination but not a map - especially one that only covers the interstates!

Adventure, dammit! Life should have rhythm, yes, but it shouldn't be so stressful, so dull. I want some surprises in my life again!

Why not look for other p-words ... hm, how about passion, purpose, progress ... so much better ... parachute, paradigm, paradise ... possibility, playful, prospector ... and, of course, prank ...

Oh, that opens a whole new realm of possibilities, doesn't it?