Meat and Potatoes

I'm still trying to untangle my life, which has suddenly taken a strange and emotional turn. I know I'll figure it out, that I'll come out on the other end with newfound wisdom and strength, but right now I'm just trying to get through (without complaining). Unfortunately, one of the ways I'm coping is with an old, supposedly defeated, enemy.

This weekend I spent half my allowance on junk - I had one clear moment at a flea market and bargained hard, netting about $3 in potential with the gold items I bought, but overall I tanked everything. I also ate everything in sight - Popeye's, Burger King, scones at a bookstore where I meet students, even half a box of cookies. It wasn't new behavior, either; I've been buying things at thrift shops and in fast foot restaurants since I was in Florida, but it became so out of control I finally noticed it.

Today I'm working to control my gluttony. I've gotten out the bean soup and the salad greens. I've hidden my cash. I'm not going anywhere near a thrift shop. I balanced checkbook and paid bills and reminded myself of my goals here. It's hard. But it's working.

Maybe, with a little more thought, prayer, and meditation, I'll find the cure for the disease as well as the symptoms.