Identity Crisis

I just spent an hour writing this blog and accidentally wiping it out.  Once my heart started beating again, I realized it was a blessing in disguise because I was using too many words (who, me?) for a very simple concept.  I'm trying to figure out who I am right now.  See, two years into the money journey, I switched tracks, became a dedicated treasure hunter.  At least, that's what I've been calling myself ...

Remember the lawn mower collection we cleared out a few weeks back?  I budgeted $250 to replace the broken ones I knew the Big Lug would continue to use (with much swearing) if we hadn't tossed them.  We both took the time to research said replacement, discussing it endlessly.  A consensus was reached - a pusher (no drive train, since that always breaks first), larger back wheels (for maneuverability), and 21" (rather then 19") cut diameter.  We were going to buy it sometime in April.

Saturday, on impulse (Mama Angel), I braved the cold and stopped at a lonely yard sale in our neighborhood and spotted the mower.  Sitting like a quiet, brooding gargoyle, the 22", folding-handle beauty was larger twin to the one we'd picked - and the tag said $25.  My heart thumped as I breathlessly asked the owner if he could start it up.  He said "no," but then hurried to show me what was broken (an O ring for the float cover) and where it needed to go to get fixed (with an address, even).  I sighed, unwilling to spend that much on another potential lawn ornament, but I asked the Lug about it anyway.  With his input (and inferred promise he'd take it to the dump if he failed) I went back, and, for $20 (my limit for unknowns) drove home with our newest addition in the truckbed.  Two hours later, the Lug called me at a meeting to tell me I was a freaking genius - he bought a $7.50 part, fixed it and started it right up.  Oh, and I should take half the "profit" and put it in the kitty for the trip (which I did - I'm no fool!).

Here's the problem:  A couple hours later I found a 14K Omega for $22.50 (marked only inside the case - no one ever looks inside) and 18K earrings that I'll get three times what I paid just for scrap value.  My heart thumped, I went breathless ... I had the exact same thrill I got with the mower.  The exact same.  In fact, I realized a few minutes later (with a pair of earrings that turned up to be fairly priced) that I don't get the same charge when I find out I've paid more than book value, or even what something is simply worth.

And so I wondered ... after all the work I've done here on this blog, that I continue to do ... after accumulating gold and jewelry and glass and lawn mowers ... after almost coining a new phrase ... after the shopping and searching (okay, listening) and learning ...

Am I just a bargain hunter after all?

And do I have to give my STH name back?

I'm so depressed.