Fasting

Some do it for atonement, or a spiritual breakthrough, or a vision. Some do it for gratitude, or to check their sugar levels. A few do it as instructed, and many do it on a regular schedule. I'm doing it for at least two weeks.

Fasting. From times of pre-history, man has fasted - alone and as community, in ritual and in emotion, for strength and for penance. It is believed to be the ultimate sign of our humility (and sometimes frailty), done for God as often as for ourselves.

I'm kind of hoping for some instant karma.

My work schedule has been and will be hell for quite awhile, and the yard sale/thrift store circuit takes time. I haven't let my life slide into the abyss or anything, not this time, but I'm tired of making piles and cleaning them up in one fell swoop - especially when the biggest pile is something I'm supposed to love, my jewelry. Plus, two weeks ago, I had a bad reaction to a pair of pierced earrings. Whether it was too much nickel in the mix (I'm allergic) or a miscalculation in the level of tarnish (I do scrub with alcohol!) I don't know, but both my ears and my glands swelled up, and I felt punky until ... um ... yesterday!

Low inventory of quality stuff, higher prices, killer silver, the obsession that has gripped me for months ... you'd think I'd get the message faster by now, huh? There is (seriously) a spiritual principal that says, basically, if you want something new, then either open a hole for it to fall into or give into the great pool - or both. You want time? Clear some junk from your schedule, volunteer at a hospital, and watch how the minutes start to mountain up. Money? Stop shelling it out for those cigarettes and that McMuffin, give it to a shelter, and prepare for the check in the mail. Love? Stop looking in the mirror and give some of it away. Clients? How many are you bogarting, anyway? And here's the best part - whether you start it for the right reasons or the wrong reasons, you will eventually get results, but do it for love or obedience or improving the world or paying back (or paying forward), and you will have a bumper crop of whatever it is you give away, faster and longer.

So when it came to me that I shouldn't buy any more jewelry until I clean what I have (thank you, Mama Angel) I knew immediately that it was right. I'm not doing this (only) to get more but (mostly) because it's necessary. It's not even about catching up. It's about self-discipline - proving I can handle the pressure of "more" - and saying "it's enough" because it is. All of us get these tests all the time, and we never actually fail - we just get the same exam over and over until we pass.

I'd like to get an a-plus this time.

And I will.