Found Money

A home, a year from now, for free ...

Yep, it's going to be a year-long episode of I Love Bunny (can you say "vitametavegimen"?) or maybe one of the stranger episodes of ER, but yeah, that's still the plan. How? I've now had a week to answer that question, and while I still don't know all the details, I figured out one thing for sure - in order to idiot-proof this particular adventure (so I don't "change" things along the way) I really, really, really need ground rules.

So, first, I will work hard on this project. This might sound stupid to say aloud, but don't forget my default position is "couch-potato." I will work hard. Anything that makes a house a home, from structural fixes to kitchen cabinets to decorating to lighting, is involved here. And I don't simply vow give it my best as a laborer, either - I will go out of my way to recycle, reuse, and reduce. I will find no-cost items by checking our disposal company's routes (for curbside shopping in other, more target-rich, neighborhoods), by finding out and exploiting the landfill's policies for construction waste (cabinets and stone, especially), as well as make friends with some local contractors (for same, only cleaner, possibly even delivered). In fact, although I will be the most opportunistic Bunny you've ever seen, I'm not going to fly by the seat of my pants. I'm already in the process of drawing up a master plan (so I'll never have an easy excuse for downtime), and a list of current assets (not extensive, but expensive if bought new). I've also started pulling pictures from magazines to use as templates (more than one per room, in case my scavenger skills are better - or worse- than I think they'll be).

Second, what I cannot find or inherit (or win - I haven't given up on HGTV and DIY Network sweepstakes and shows!), I will pay for using a simple transfer of energy. In some cases this means using my "rewards" and rebates for things I already buy. But it could also mean bartering my expertise as a writer or tutor or babysitter, or even trading one item for another (muffins or a first edition for cabinet knobs - and yes, the muffins count because as long as it's low-or-no-cost and labor-intensive, it's a barter, baby). To extend the scope a bit, I'm also counting any money gained in a yard sale or on eBay in this category. As long as I'm selling things I already own it's just trading (using the intermediary of cash) for things I really need (like a basement waterproofer who takes PayPal).

Third, I have one big job pre-concept, and already in the pipeline - our electrical wiring is original to the house, a bit of a hazard. The Big Lug and I agreed to get a new, higher-amp panel put in as soon as the holidays were over. We also want to get a GFI in each bathroom, hardware that will support ceiling fans in all the bedrooms, and new outlets to support a modern stovetop (and our 21st-century multitude of electronic devices) installed all over the house, but because the panel is the only necessary part of the project, we will do only that. The rest will come later, as needed or horse-traded.

Speaking of which - fourth, if something is about safety or is an emergency (i.e. when the water heater blew last year), that doesn't count in the free-zone, either. I refuse to start finagling and finessing work or supplies while the water level is rising or the power is out. And while I'm at it ... okay, bit of a stretch, here ... but paying for necessary furniture, training, and tools, the stuff I need so I can even do the work, won't count, either - but I swear no credit will be involved, and I will always try to borrow, or inherit, or buy or heavily discounted or with gift cards (that I'm already asking for at birthday time and other holidays). And I will never buy ahead for projects I might do, or buy a new sofa if I have one already. In other words, I promise to purchase only things I'll be using a lot (like a table saw or pneumatic nailer), or that I absolutely need (like a sideboard or a replacement for a dead appliance), and anything I'll rarely, if ever, use again (like floor sanders and rototillers) I will rent. However, I'm warning you - if I see another Stickley bookcase for $200, I'm grabbing it first, needs or not.

Lastly, I considered giving myself a monthly budget for paint and lumber, but I think I'm already bending the concept as far as I can with my previous dodges. However, since I still have about $200 (in ones) that I got for change for the yard sale last June (seriously), I consider that my seed money and I will spend it here (probably for actual seeds, too).

Now, after all that thinking, and all that see-how-far-the-old-girl-can-contort-around-her-original-statement, here's the payback - I will not sacrifice quality for frugality. Oh, I could redo the entire house in the old "shabby chic" or the newer "retro chic," both of which are very informal, kind of cool, and (many times) extraordinarily inexpensive. But I won't settle, and no Modern (Mid-Century or otherwise) is me. I love things a bit more traditional, a bit more formal - Shaker or Mission or Art Nouveau. I will not accept anything less than what I love (or at least love at the time), because I know that even with this absurd budget, even with my half-century-old body, even with no taste of my own and a bad case of the lazies (and the prideful), I know I can get pretty darned close to my idea of perfect, somehow - and I'm going to work until I "canst work no more" to prove it (to myself mostly).

Funny thing is, I think Mama Angel didn't just nudge me in this direction, I think she's given me her blessing, too. This morning, I was going through all my accounts (starting the asset vs. obligation tally) and found an unexpected automatic debit from the life insurance company - you know, the one with all the (supposedly) liquidated policies, the ones we cashed in before the holidays? Well, it turns out I had another policy sitting there, one that didn't show up on the list (linked to the Big Lug's accounts), one I didn't even remember addending to the main policy. So I called, got the surrender ball rolling, and I now have about $2K coming my way in ten days or so. And since it's found money (shut up), and almost exactly what that new electrical panel will cost (no, really, shut up), I'm going to put the budgeted stash toward his retirement buyback or my IRA instead (aren't you glad you didn't comment?), getting us that much closer to the prize, today.

We'll all see what happens next, but as far as I'm concerned, life is pretty amazing.