To the Honorable ... Whoever

Over the weekend, gold went nuts on eBay - bullion and coin sales were in the high 1600's and low 1700's per ounce.  I thought things would level out once it looked as if the debt ceiling was rising, and since it's already passed the house ... but, no, not only is gold still rising as I write this, all the index futures are tanking.  Yes, Europe is in trouble, and yes our GDP (etc.) numbers aren't all that.  But it really looks as if no one around here is really certain that all the "Honorables" in government can actually pull it off.

I'm one of them.  So far all I've seen is 537 people who are thinking of the next election rather than the fact that our economic boat is filling with water and they're arguing about whether we should scoop or suck.  I've seen much (too much) grandstanding, pontificating, and bluster; tons of set jaws, narrowed eyes, and finger-pointing; mountains of threats, promises, and in-fighting; but action?  Not so much.  And I think I might know why:  how many of our elected officials has ever had to (personally) dig him-or-herself out of debt?

I'm not talking about doing without lattes in order to pay the education loans they incurred for law school or foregoing a new car to pay down the mortgage on the vacation house on the beach.  I'm talking about being in a hole so deep you can't see up, that you're so far underwater you have to use one card to pay another, that you search couch cushions for change to buy milk for the kids and babysit to get your car payment.  I'm talking cold sweats every night for months (or years) and wondering if your life insurance would come soon enough to help the rest of the family to survive.

Well, guess what?  I've been there.  I got out.  And I have the scars to prove it.  And as someone who's had some actual practical experience, I have some advice for our lawmakers.

1)  Stop treating government as if it's a business.  It is not a business.  Business gets to do something with profits (actually generates them) and is, or should be, responsible for its own debt.  (And, by the way, outsourcing isn't "cutting the size of government."  Admit it's stupid - on so many levels - and get back to civil service, for all of you.)

2)  Lending money with no requirement of repayment is only for people related to you by blood, and then only if you have it to lose.  I will respond in kind, if necessary (starving = feed them, evicted = a place to stay ... for days, not weeks) but I will not hand cash to a money drunk.  Not any more.  I owe them nothing that will enable bad behavior.  (And borrowing that way is illegal for real people - it's called "fraud.")

3)  There is no such thing as "good" debt, only "acceptable" debt, and you cannot grow consistently by borrowing to gamble on, well, anything else.  If I must borrow, I have an asset to back it up (like a car), and I still pay it off as fast as I can.

4)  I had to cut expenses, sell some assets, and work more hours to get us out of the hole.  That meant I cut my own allowance and I raised more money in addition to trimming the household expenses that weren't constants.  Everything was on the table when it came to both cuts and revenue.  Everything.  No exceptions.

5)  I had to put my name on our debt.  My name.  If you had to put your names on all of those ancillary (and bullshit) Pork Barrel riders that attach to every single bill that goes through your houses (including the one that authorized emergency funds to pay our troops!), I'll bet the budget would cut itself by 20% in its first year.  (And if it doesn't, then shame on all of you.)

6)  I don't start a project unless I know I can pay for it.  In other words, I not only "balance" my budget, I don't even base that budget on what I don't have.  Not only that, but when I earn less I IMMEDIATELY cut things (to make my emergency fund last longer, if necessary).  And I plan ahead for vacations and renovations, save even for things that might be expenses in the future (like for an air conditioning system that's now nearly 20 years old).

7) The biggest help for me was to change my attitude toward the money:  you are not in charge of our finances, you are responsible for it.  We succeed or fail based on what you decide - all of us, including your own families - and you will be remembered for your actions (or lack of them).  And though we (people) seem to not care sometimes, we really do, especially when you cut into our lives.  I hate to say this, ladies and gentlemen, but the worst thing we can do to you is NOT to vote you out. Your current actions (or lack of them) are stirring even us moderates out of our (possibly) apathetic, (seemingly) sheep-like fog.  Do you really want to see what happens when your "flock" turns on you and your parties? (Hint - anyone seen a Whig lately ...)

By the way, I'm not saying government is a household any more than it's a business but it's closer to the latter and you know it.  And that means you don't need economists to fix this problem but people who've actually crawled out of the muck.  See, we who have stared down this particular abyss (and lived to tell the tale) know that what you really need in order to survive (and thrive) is not theory, not storm and fury, and not great sound bytes - you need common sense, calm resolve, constant vigilance ... oh, and a really, really good thrift store.

Okay, maybe that last one was just my secret weapon.